Here is a story Y’all will enjoy reading by popular Nigerian celebrity story writer, Falodun Olaoluwa popularly know as Lavezzedout. Enjoy the story below;
So now I’m in a car I just took from Lekki Phase 1 to Iyanaworo. I already met two women in the car. One in the front seat and another at the back.
Seeing this, I felt safe a bit. At least if e sup I suppose fit follow these women drag am.
Invariably there was one space left to be
filled and still at that spot a lady joined in. She’s looking so gorgeous in a black gown but she’s carrying a poly bag half full of whatever is inside. Yeah, her hair is low cut and tinted.
Aunty sat down beside me and I’m here sandwiched between two women.
We began the journey
and as we went on, the girl who got in last, nudged my leg.
“please adjust your leg”.
I was like see babe that I am admiring that is shenking me.
Truth be told, because I was in the middle, my leg had to be on both sides and I could swear it was because she spread her legs to
accommodate what she was carrying, that was why our legs were hitting.
I didn’t say anything, I adjusted and we kept going.
Minutes later, she hit my leg with hers again.
“please adjust now”.
Now I was getting irritated but still I said nothing. The woman on the other side’s leg
was touching mine but both of us did not even bother because this was a car and of course, this was expected.
As a proper and quintessential man that I am, I adjusted the second time. Now my legs were aching because of the position I had to put it just for her sake.
We kept on moving and sure there was traffic at Osborne before we got to Adekunle. I was playing candy crush on my phone cos I didn’t wanna sleep inside the car in case something wanted to sup.
Just as we approached the Third Mainland Bridge, I felt a head hit my shoulder.
This very same girl was asleep and had the guts to rest her head on my shoulder.
In my mind, this was my chance to revenge. I waited for a couple of seconds wondering which gesture I should use to appreciate her head.
Should I shrug it off with my shoulders?
Should I jab her side with my elbow?
or should I use my other hand to slap her cheeks to reality and tell her to adjust.
“Excuse me please, you’re resting on me, please adjust” I said out loud that everyone in the bus could hear.
“sorry” she said slowly as she sat upright and closed her eyes back.
“Ahan, can’t you be a gentleman and let her rest on you?” the driver said from his steering with a laugh as he looked behind briefly.
“Baba, better mind your business, I be like Mouka abi?” I said to him in my thoughts with haughty eyes.
A couple of minutes later, gbish! It was her head again.
I wanted to let her be but the iota of wickedness in me gave her another nudge.
“Please you’re resting on me again” I said. “..Kindly rest your head on the other side” I said politely. (corporate emails has ruined me 😭)
Instantly she hissed.
Ah! on top of my own shoulders baa? I sha mellowed and continued pressing my phone.
It was unmitigatedly and apparently obvious that today was a bad day at the market.
Of all of the girls in Lekki, this was the one that fell to me today. I had accepted my fate and prayed that this journey would be over soon.
In my mind, the drama had ended because her head didn’t disturb me anymore.
“Oya, money at the back” the driver requested as we got to the middle of the bridge.
I brought out a 500 note and gave to the driver. The woman in front gave him 600 Naira for her and the other woman I met in the bus.
It remained only aunty that should pay.
“Last person your money please!” he shouted.
Aunty Jonah was still sleeping.
“e ba mi ji” the driver said in Yoruba meaning I should help wake her up.
I tapped her leg gently and told her the driver was talking to her.
“Sister your money” the driver called out again.
Aunty dipped her hands inside her nylon and brought out 200 Naira. She paused and thought for a while.
“How much is Iyanaworo?” she asked the driver.
It was like a movie in eyes. Everyone knew the price from that spot. It was 300 Naira.
“It’s the normal price” the driver replied politely from his steering.
“Driver my change o, 200 Naira” I chipped in.
“Brother I will give you, let this sister pay” he replied. “…Iyanaworo is 300 Naira, Oshodi 400”
That was how another drama unfurled
“Take” she said as she gave the 200 Naira to the driver.
I looked on in slow mo as she stretched the money to the driver. In my mind, I knew there was going to be an altercation and I was eager waiting with a evil smirk on my face.
The driver collected the money and took it close to the light to check it out.
“I already told you people to enter with your change” he said as he was struggling to make was denomination of the Naira it was. Probably he thought it a 1000 Naira note.
By the time he noticed what it was, he scoffed.
“Sister, your money is not complete nau, it remains 100 Naira” he said to her.
“Remaining what money?” she replied sharply and I smiled.
“…Iyanaworo is 200 Naira please. How can it be 300 Naira? please abeg I have paid you” she squelched.
“E ma gba mi ke!” the driver spoke in Yoruba. He was getting angry and trying his best not to raise his voice. You could tell clearly he was a man of courtesy.
“Please Sister, I don’t have time for jokes this evening, I am tired and just want to go home to my wife and family to rest, pay up your balance” he said.
“I said Iyanaworo is 200 Naira and that is how I have been entering it from that place. How will I pay 300 Naira? Is it me that is not tired and don’t have anywhere to go to? I have paid you already and that is all I have on me” she replied sharply.
The driver wasn’t having it. They began to drag it and she kept on insisting that that was the price.
“Sister the price of the Iyanaworo is 300 Naira, you should have asked before you entered” the woman at the front spoke.
“Ehn! did he tell me the price before I entered, did he?” she rebuffed.
“did you ask?” she replied her.
felt the car slowing down.
Ah! this man wanted to really park and tell her to get off.
“Oya come down from my car if you can pay me” he said.
What kind of delay is this one bayi? It was almost 9pm. I could see the bill board just before Iyanaworo at the front.
“Give me back my 200 Naira if you want me to come down!” she spewed and there and there I opened my mouth in amazement. She wanted to collect her money back, Lmao.
Driver chuckled and was like “you still want to come all this way without paying? You are not serious!”
“are you not the one that want to throw me out? you want to leave a lady stranded on the bridge because of 100 Naira right?!” she replied and just then I knew I had had enough.
“Oga, let’s go please, remove the 100 Naira from my change, let’s just go! it’s not safe here and time is going” I cut in into the melee.
“Uncle please don’t pay for me!” she said to me and I was like “what is doing this one?”.
“..Let him do his worse! let him throw me out here on the bridge because of 100 Naira”.
“werey leleyi o” I thought to myself. I ignored her and pleaded to the driver to let us go.
He revved the engine and we began to move now.
Slowly we got close to the billboard at the iyanaworo bus stop and as usual there was traffic because we were turning into the park.
The car had been silent since I agreed to pay but instead the driver gave me my full change and told me not to worry. Such a kind hearted man, even after all the girl just put him through.
Slowly we were moving and out of nowhere, this girl shouted
Ah! my mouth was opened as wide as an empty goal post. She called one of those plantain chips sellers and gave him 500 Naira from her hand to buy two plantain chips. She collected her change and afterwards called another person selling bottle water and paid a 100 Naira.
“Osiriwisiwisi” the woman in front said as she burst into laughter.
Me I was just chuckling at the sight. Babe no even send any of us. She tore one of the chips and began to eat.
The driver looked behind at her and was lost for words. He shook his head but didn’t say a word.
My chuckle was beginning to get so audible right now as we arrived at the bus stop. What the hell did I just witness?!
He parked at a spot and we were to come down since all of us were going to Iyanaworo. The woman in front came down first and the woman beside me opened the door at her side to also come down.
I assumed we all were coming down so I was waiting for the girl to open her own side so I could follow but babe sat put.
Driver was already shouting “Oshodi! Oshodi 200! 200 Naira Oshodi!”
I was like “please can you open the door, I want to come down”.
She didn’t even answer me. Me that thought drama was over, I wasn’t expecting the next thing she told the driver.
“Driver! Na Oshodi you dey go? I will follow you to Oshodi o because that is where I am going to too but I can’t pay 200 Naira o, it is 100 Naira I will pay, Oshodi is 100 Naira from Iyanaworo”.
I was dumbfounded as I couldn’t even hold my laughter anymore. Is this girl okay?
Lmao, I just had to pass the other side to exit the car because she sat down as if it was her own car.
As I got down, other people began to enter the car and in seconds, it was filled up.
I didn’t wait to hear what response the driver gave to her, but I stood a distance to see if something jocular would sup.
Omo, nothing o. After like a minute, the car revved and he drove off to Oshodi. What ensued during that journey or how it ended, I have no idea and I am so pained 😂😭.
I am so sure the driver was frustrated and deduced that she was “special”.
I sat down at the shed in the middle of the park and laughed for like a minute before I could get myself. I had to buy a bottle of cold Pepsi to calm myself because this was a crazy experience.
What will someone not see on your journey from Lekki to Iyanaworo?
I stand to be corrected,
In this Lagos, many are mad but few are roaming.
Sorry for my typos, errors and misconstructions of some sentences. I hope I did justice to narrating my ordeal tonight. I’m going to bed now as I’m home. I typed this on my way from Iyanaworo to Ketu.
I hope you enjoy ready this interesting story… Kindly follow @lavezzedout for more amazing stories.